The thing about relationship woes is that, there’s no guidebook that you can refer to. When your partner is trying hard to prove you wrong, how do you know if you are not entirely that? God save you if you’re gullible though. You will drown yourself in self-doubt and more confusion because you think you are right to get mad at him, but then he tells you that you are being over-dramatic and now you don’t know. You think he has been a lousy boyfriend, but he says he is just going through some shit and you don’t understand. So what do you believe in? Break the confusion with these signs that confirm he has been treating you badly. Badly doesn’t translate to abuse, that’s a whole other story. It just means that he’s not doing his best. Let him know that he needs to buck up or lose you.
1. He doesn’t prioritise you
When you started dating, his friends used to complain that they don’t get to see him often. Today, you feel like he is living a bachelor’s life. His social calendar is full, work life is hectic and of course, gym is important. So where is the time for you? You’re so low in his list of priorities. And that’s not right, no matter what he says.
2. When you get upset and hang up, he doesn’t call back
We have grown up hearing that if he loves you he will call you back. With that thought in the back of your mind, when you hang up, all you want him to do is call you back immediately. He should then apologise and tell you he loves you very much. Except that doesn’t happen. Ever. And it’s usually you who ends up calling back after impatiently checking your phone a million times throughout the night.
3. You feel your desires are ignored
They say you should not expect him to read your mind. So you have made sure you communicate your desires. But it feels like his brain is a logic-repellent. The fact that you have told him a thousand times that you want to watch Lion King with him seems to be slipping through the cracks of his perforated brain.
4. You guys aren’t doing anything exciting lately
He has been so lousy at making plans, that now secretly you’ve started preferring the company of your friends over his. In fact, instead of going to the same damn place for dinner, you’d rather stay home and catch up on some sleep. He has clearly stopped putting in effort to keep the spark alive.
5. He gets defensive when you try to sort it out
When you’re trying to sort an issue out, he gets so defensive, it’s as if you have questioned not just his integrity but his very existence. Maybe, if his ego shrinks a little, his mind will feel less clouded and more open to seeing things from your perspective.
6. The last time he did something special was in 1897
It’s not like you expect him to lay down a bed of roses for you to walk on. Or a Louis Vuitton bag. In fact, it’s really not difficult to make you feel special. Just a surprise box of pizza would do. Or even a very unexpected tight hug. If he is not even doing these little things for you, this needs immediate attention.
7. He dismisses your opinion
We want a guy who respects our opinion and believes in our intellect. You know that feeling when you tell your guy something confidently, and he still tries to confirm that information from elsewhere.
8. In a social gathering you feel left out
Your boyfriend’s friends come over and all of you are having a lot of fun. Because his friends are great and you are now really close to them. It’s not like you want him to be by your side all the time, but you’d like him to at least acknowledge your existence. You’d like him to flirt with you, or sit next to you for a while and may be even tease you! But if his friend’s cousin who just flew from US felt closer than your boyfriend, I’d say it’s a big bad red flag.
9. He calls your feelings over-dramatic
Now unless I cried over you eating my pizza, you can’t call me over-dramatic. In fact, even then, for your own good, you should not! If he ridicules your feelings all the time, calling them drama, he probably has no experience with women at all. Train him or drain him.
10. He doesn’t value your time
He keeps you waiting and expects you to be up for last minute plans (as per his convenience.) Most of your meetings are when he is free, after he has slotted ALL his other activities. You, on the other hand, have to move your plans and choose him over waxing. If you don’t like that, tell him you’re busy and let him make plans according to your schedule.
0 Comments