In the context of a good old-fashioned patriarchy, where filiation is paternal, it is fundamental to know who is the father of whom. However, we are never sure of the mother. To be certain of paternity, there is only one absolute method: to couple a woman to a man from deflowering to death. There is a term for that: marriage.
Traditional marriage (where the bride is a virgin) can only go the distance if the man and the woman have distinct roles, and which do not overlap. No disagreement possible if each party decides without consultation in its assigned role. There is little divorce in the cultures of arranged marriages. Basically, arranged marriage is the only true marriage. The concept of marriage, and therefore of “lasting couples”, is quite incompatible with gender equality. If it is necessary to consult each other at each step, the potential-clash is proportional to the square of the distance. The only way to have a relationship that lasts, and where parties are equal, is to accept compromise in disagreements. It's no secret, everyone knows that. The secret is a step further.
Compromises piss off everyone. The less, the better off we are. So, ideally, you have to get into a relationship with someone who agrees with you all the time. The secret of a lasting couple is to find a “soul mate”.
To find it, there is no secret, you have to look. To look for it, you have to be well aware of what you want.
You will need a very deep relationship experience. Once you have gone through thirty partners, you will have a better idea of your needs, and what you can provide. “What if he / she was my soul mate. If I left him / her, I might not find someone better. ” is exactly what keeps you from finding it. Soul mates for you, there are millions. Next. And if the next one is worse. The more you turn, the more you will sharpen. Statistically, you can't help but find the right fit. And if it takes fifty attempts, too bad. What am I saying .So much the better!
Unfortunately the illusion of first-time happiness that the Church and State sells to us locks many of our potential soul mates into relationships that are pissed off and slowly destroy them. If you live in a particularly backward society, this can limit your options.
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